One Piece of Advice To Improve Your Sex Life or Your Romantic Relationships! With Stella Harris

Reid: Who is this lovely human being sitting next to me? Hi everyone, I’m Reid Mihalko from and this is…

Stella: Stella Harris from .

Reid: And Stella, what do you do? Tell these people, why you’re on my YouTube channel.

Stella: I am a certified intimacy educator and a professional sex coach. I write about sex, I teach about sex, I help people have better sex. I also talk to people about relationships and kink and reducing shame in their sex lives, a whole constellation of issues.

Reid: And, what do you find for our viewing audience. What do you find or like the top 1 or 2 things that people tend to come to you with, that they’re struggling with? Is there something that a lot of people tend to struggle with?

Stella: Yeah. I think the most common thing I get is people just wanting to know that they’re okay or that they’re normal. Maybe 20-30% of the people I see for a coaching is a one session deal because they come with an issue that they are anxious or shameful about or that they’ve been shamed for. Sometimes even by some doctors or therapists and I tell them that they are totally fine and normal and we talk about it and they leave feeling better about themselves, and that’s it. So most people just need to hear that they’re not the only one who feels the way they feel or does the things that they do. So, that is by far the most common. And then from there, it’s often people just needing help through a little bit of a sticking point with communication with a partner or with learning a new skill to help them get what they want. People don’t have anyone to talk to about sex and so that’s where I come in.

Reid: So, they come and talk to you.

Stella: Yeah.

Reid: And what you’re based in…

Stella: Portland, Oregon.

Reid: Portland, Oregon. And then..

Stella: And the internet. So, everywhere in the world.

Reid: And the internet. So, people can go to

Stella: Yep.

Reid: To find out more things about coaching and how they can work with you.

Stella: Yeah. And I do that by Skype also. So, anywhere in the world who got internet connection.

Reid: And as we leave everyone, now that they know who Stella Harris is, if you have to give advice just like one thing that that would work well for most people to do today to improve their sex life or their romantic relationships. Like, what’s one bit of advice, and you can’t tell that they to call you for coaching session.

Stella: I’m not good enough at self-promotion to even thought of that.

Reid: You can tell them to call me.

Stella: I think people need to talk to each other more. That’s another thing that comes up. People come and will talk to me for an hour and I ask them if they told their partner the things that they’ve told me and usually the answer is no. So, working up the courage to tell a partner what you want, what you need, that’s the biggest one. Just asking for things, being honest, being transparent and talking to your partnersm what you need from them.

Reid: So, if you want to leave in the comments, leave in the comments like what are some things that you need to talk to a partner about. I mean, the odds that your partner reads the comments for this video, I wouldn’t suggest that you use the comments on the video to break it to them. But what’s something that would be useful for you to talk to a partner about, you leave that on the comments. Leave whatever you want in the comments. Ask us questions and I’m going to shoot few more videos with Stella and we’ll actually answer some of your questions. Bye everyone!

Stella: Nice to meet you!